Jesus Forgives and Heals the Paralytic Man

By Beckita Hesse

In April of this year, Charlie wrote: “I have asked Beckita, the editor of this site and my caregiver during the first brutal 23 days of my battle with Covid, to write an account of all the people who helped – and my attitude in extremis. It was much worse than we let on publicly at the time – and many people were deeply concerned that I was not going to make it. I knew the dangers, but I was convinced that if I would be more useful on the other side of the veil, that is where God would take me – and if I would be more useful here, that is where God would leave me. Blessed be the name of the Lord, who works good in all things for those who love Him.” (ASOH 4-10-22 The Brazen Serpent Prayer)

FINALLY!! As you read, you’ll notice Charlie’s own words in red text, words which spotlight much about who he is and that for which he stands, words which reveal the integrity of the man as he has well integrated into his own life the exhortations and counsel which he expresses to others. But, this is not primarily a tribute to Charlie, rather, it’s a window into the ways he comports himself even when thrust into a very difficult, dangerous situation. For twenty-three days – every morning, afternoon and evening – I saw him and heard him speak while we were negotiating some exceptionally intense circumstances and events.   

For longtime readers, who also visit the comments section, it’s no secret that I love Charlie, his mission, his work and the abundant fruit he bears via that work. My love extends to the people – and their work – on the various teams he has put together at TNRS, ASOH and CORAC, and those in the communities which have gathered round Charlie. He IS one of my heroes, and I write this fully aware that God is the center of my being and my worship, my praise and adoration, the answer to my every need and my everything on life’s journey. I was once corrected here for commenting that we need Charlie. Well, I’m more convinced than ever that we *need* Charlie. Surely e.v.e.r.y. single ordinary person is needed to pray and to work for the coming of God’s Kingdom more fully to earth in the renewal now underway. It’s also true that individual leaders ARE needed. With all that Charlie carries – given the mission God entrusted to him when Charlie expressed his fiat, his gifts and talents as well as the unflagging, assiduous work he has leveraged in developing and employing those gifts and talents in his life – we DO need him, in precisely the ways that God intends, as Charlie follows Christ, living and moving and having his being in Him, while co-creating with Him every day.  

I have always had a very blue-collar approach to whatever work I do. I cannot change the world. Most times I cannot even change the day. But I can do the work right in front of me, trusting that if I do that as well as I can, neither giving myself over to pouting when it seems I have failed nor to gloating when it seems that I have triumphed, that the Lord will protect me from the two frauds of triumph and disaster and make what little fruit I bear last. 

The Lord is calling each of us. Like Peter after the Resurrection, He is asking us, “Do you love me more than these?” If our answer is yes, He demands that we prove it by feeding His lambs. We are called to be missionaries of the Gospel, not just to oppose the great evil that has come upon the world (though we are certainly to do that), but to effectively call as many as we can to the peace and joy that is in Christ. That is fruit that will last. 

You have been invited to participate with God in the renewal of the faith and the face of the world. Take up your cross and follow Him joyfully and you will live to see an amazingly renewed world of true faith, brotherhood and prosperity either from the vantage point of here or of the next world. That is good news, indeed.” (ASOH 5-23-22 Good News, Bad News, Best News) 

What Charlie writes, he lives. What he exhorts, he does. And what he expresses in wisdom has been born of living it in his own life choices. May this remembrance with its reflection NOT lead us to set Charlie apart and above us (although he IS very special), upon some pedestal or high horse. I surely honor him in this account, and the ways he has laid down his life for God and His people. Yet, ultimately in this sharing, may we be stirred to live more fully God’s call on our own lives while we embrace the mindsets which have been presented, discussed and developed throughout the last eight years in Charlie’s public writing, both at TNRS and ASOH, and, now, at CORAC. May we find renewed hope and resolve to choose wisely, love more selflessly, welcome new measures of unshakeable trust in God, press on in prayer from our hearts that we remain ALL IN for His Kingdom with fortitude and fidelity, willing to immediately obey Him, never counting the cost, whatever He tells us to do.  

Charlie wrote – in his piece, The Lost Week, at ASOH on 10-23-21, just over a year ago – that it seemed like he had one of his very nasty bugs. He had taken elderberry supplements and slept a lot during the previous week. Then, in Charlie Indomitable Style, duty-bound and determined to keep his speaking commitments, he drove to Rapid City, SD, gave his presentation, and amazingly – some may think foolishly – hit the road again, arriving in Missoula, MT, on Wednesday evening, the 27th, exactly a year ago today. (Quirky as it may seem, Happy Anniversary, Charlie!! It’s a day to remember not only because you were dangerously ill when you arrived, but because it was also the beginning of God’s Love poured out upon you through those who love you so. To me, that’s a goose bumping memory as the people in the communities you have welcomed and shaped generously responded to your needs in typical, potent prayer as well as in the equally potent prayer of doing which every saint worth his/her salt lived in heroic virtue. In my view, what a mighty stamp of approval from God on your work that the communities and people in the organization which you founded were motivated by Him to freely give to you what you so freely have given and intended for all humankind who would be touched by God through us.) By this time, still unbeknownst to me – although perhaps Charlie was beginning to wonder – he was already more than 2 weeks into Covid. Oi. When Fr. Wang and I went to see him the next day, he was was totally beaten by the illness, yet, his demeanor was one of taking pause to wonder aloud if he could actually give his talk, as he continued to hope that he wouldn’t miss the presentation scheduled for the next evening. I’m not kidding about indomitable, yet, without appetite whatsoever, all he wanted to do – and all he could do – was lie in bed, so we left him to rest and sleep as best he could, knowing that it was a fitful venture. 

In phone conversations with some key people, discussions ensued around Covid being the likely culprit of the illness, so packages of healing products were already en route via mail. Thank God for Mary Lapchak and Sheryl Collmer who swiftly dispatched the Ivermectin, nebulizer, vitamins and additional life-giving products which were essential to kick off the healing process. Thank God for SteveBC who sent me on a shopping spree to purchase and order supplements – most for which I had no previous knowledge – addressing all the ways that an advanced stage of Covid could well be damaging Charlie’s body, ways such as circulating spikes, clotting, inflammation, immune system derangement, lung damage and iron freed into the blood stream… aye yi yi yi yi.  No way would Charlie be able to give his presentation – for the first time ever – but mercy! He was a man in abject suffering, miserable, through and through, with a deeply embedded sickness. His descriptor, “brutal,” is no exaggeration for what he was experiencing.  

On the next day, Friday, Father anointed Charlie in the Sacrament of the Sick. There were obvious signs that his lungs were affected and he described some of it on his blog a week later. ”To go to the washroom, I have to make a plan, gather up my strength, do it, disengage, get back to bed, then hyperventilate for 10 or fifteen minutes to recover…” (ASOH 11-3-21 Light a Candle for Me)  Bringing in the oximeter from my home, we confirmed that his oxygen sats were dangerously low. When the readings are in the low to mid-sixties, all medical people experience their own kind of palpitations. No wonder. About 65% of a body is comprised of oxygen. Hypoxemia leads to hypoxia and it’s life-threatening.  In the words of Charlie, “I was never at death’s door, but death did take up residence across the street, eyeing me like a hungry vulture.” (ASOH 12-7-21 Eager to Return to the Land of the Living) In my own faith and trust, aware that God had been preparing Charlie for a l.i.f.e.t.i.m.e. to do what he is doing, even though he was as deathly sick as he was, it didn’t make sense that God would call him Home at this juncture. Even so, others have succumbed to the Final Journey in such scenarios as this one in which Charlie was contending. That noted, God is God and He has plans and thinking far above the capacities of the most intelligent ones He has ever created, so I continued to give the thoughts which evoked fear into the hands of Our Lady and, instead, dwelled on what could be, and needed to be, done in each moment. “Do the little you can do right in front of you.” (A Charlie quote, ever brimming from the pages of his writing at TNRS, ASOH and CORAC.) 

By this time, phone calls, texts and emails were piling up as people were verrrry concerned and, in the midst of it all, I had the responsibility of alerting the out-of-town people to the current dilemma: if they were going to be disappointed not to be able to hear and meet Charlie, they might want to skip the drive into Missoula, although the evening would go on in an adapted way… and so it did. Remembering the intensity of scrambling through these circumstances brings to mind Charlie’s exhortation to remain flexible: As society continues to break down, you need to be nimble and not get bent out of shape when plans don’t go quite as you hoped. It will be happening more and more frequently.” (ASOH 5-23-22 Our Hope Is In God) I had viewed enough of Charlie’s presentation videos so that I readily made notes of what I perceived as highlights of his talks and opened up the evening with my, then, version of what we’re about in CORAC. Sue Paroski, our regional coordinator at that time, greeted us and spoke about the Sustainability Committee which she headed. Fr. Wang, whose faith and long-suffering courage were refined as gold when he escaped his homeland on the heels of communism, gave a heartening talk, promoting endurance and holding fast to hope. About fifty of the nearly hundred people who were originally coming from all over the western part of the state were there. And through all of this prep and presentation, in my heart of prayer and on my mind was Charlie, his state of illness and his care, as I mulled over incoming new knowledge, opinions and insights from various sources. 

In the duties of these days, as I was busy with things like bagging up daily doses of those golden beans known as supplements for morning, noon and, evening consumption, my mind would wander to the Lord in pondering and prayer.  I was keenly aware that the heart and soul of TNRS, ASOH, and CORAC was in my care AND this was an extremely serious situation. A Covid surge was overwhelming the city and, although Montana is a state where there was nearly nil oppressive governmental over-reach compared to many places in the country, local people were affected by the obsessive fear-mongering all around us and they were skittish in their efforts to avoid contracting Covid. I weighed getting someone to assist, but I knew that once the presentation part was complete, I could devote the days and evenings to whatever was needed. Fr. Wang, who had been the recipient of such care in the various health crisis episodes which have been part of his winter years, was completely on board for the focus given to caring for Charlie. I felt guilty to the max that I was leaving him alone while he was so weak and miserable when I was prepping and executing the presentation tasks, even though he was mainly exhausted, had no appetite and lay pinned to his bed by sickness as he tried to soak up the therapeutic value of sleeping and resting. 

From another dimension, there really was intensity in a sense of urgency during the initial work of communicating and working with the wonderful array of people – each with expertise in his/her particular health discipline – to coordinate and implement the various remedies and regimens with these dear ones most willing to set Charlie on a path to healing.  Thank God for the amazing medical doctor (who wishes to remain anonymous, so she’s known as “BB” in this account), a CORAC member who continuously guided and taught me while constantly asking questions about Charlie’s condition and then voiced potential care steps which would encompass honoring his wishes. BB, too, made an abundance of phone calls when we were in the tough spots, such as when we needed a doctor on board who could write scripts in this state. She coached me through an examination of Charlie’s lungs when we were concerned that pneumonia had likely become a complication. I did find, after much searching and asking, a local doctor willing to prescribe two drugs which BB knew would provide a boost for healing the lungs, but we ran into the problem of filling those scripts right away because the city’s pharmacies close early on Saturdays. Through a period of pressing on when doors were closed, we discovered a friend willing to supply us with a Z-pak from his home stash. These kinds of blocks happened right and left in the little and critical details which were part of the initial setting up of Charlie’s care. Frankly, the blocks were often daunting, yet determined to not give up and, instead, trust God to make a way for us proved fruitful at every turn. Shades of Charlie’s piece, republished at ASOH on March 5, 2018, were coming to life. “When you are sitting on a placid lake in a canoe with a paddle, you can use the paddle to steer, to choose where you want to go. When you are in that canoe in a fast-moving, frothy, rapid river, you do not choose where to go. In fact, if you try to steer, you capsize. Rather, the paddle can only be used to react to the current and the rapids…and every bit of skill you have must be used to keep from capsizing as the river takes you where it will. We are in the rapids. We are not in control. But if we are humble and skillful, we can dramatically reduce our odds of capsizing.” (TNRS 10-3-14 What the Next Right Step Really Means

I’m grateful to acknowledge the pivotal role our reader and frequent commenter, HTTP, played in the earliest stage of this adventure. First, she made the initial connection between BB and me. Then, on Sunday evening, October 31st, HTTP and her husband drove the hour and a half distance, in the night, from their home to Missoula, making a delivery of homeopathy remedies, since Mick, leader of Health & Wellness at CORAC, and Jacquie had put their heads together to provide a homeopathy regimen for Charlie.  HTTP and I huddled at a table in the tiny lobby of the motel as she gave me a crash course, initial training in the wonders of homeopathy, with instructions for administering and caring for the remedies. Jacquie, too, was ready at the phone with tips and further instructions about observing and responding to the patient.  Oh how relieving and sweet it was to have support from both the gifted, allopathic doctor and the also gifted expertise of the homeopathists, because, at this juncture, the continuing lack of appetite seemed at the root of the inability to consume the number of supplements which, indeed, had fantastic healing properties, but simply couldn’t be swallowed without provoking the gag reflex. The potency of the supplements’ role in healing would be unleashed later in Charlie’s recovery. 

On Monday morning, I thought to bring Charlie the oxygen concentrator which we have in our home. (Think of it: we were starting the sixth day with oxygen sats in the tank, and who knows how long they had been dropping in the days leading up to the, honestly, miraculous entrance into Missoula. Really, only God’s grace could have allowed Charlie to make that Olympian drive from Rapid City to Missoula.)  However, I ran into the problem of the concentrator suddenly not working. Another knot – among many – to be undone! Thanks to BB’s husband for doing some research to get it going, yet, even then, it wouldn’t keep running once set up in the motel room. I was starting to wonder about interference from the dark side, but chose to dwell instead on the Lord’s Goodness rather than the enemy’s nasty nonsense. I hauled that heavy machine out of the motel, just as surely as I had lugged it into the room with some puffing and sighs, and heard Charlie ask: “Beckita are you having a bad day?” My reply: “No, Charlie. It’s just a bad moment.” Once home, while I was busy with other things, Fr. Wang applied his magic touch and voila! The machine was working again. Pressing on, back to the motel went the concentrator with its supplemental oxygen raising those oxygen sats to a healthy level!!  I could only pray in gratitude: O Sweet Breath of the Spirit thank You for blowing through Charlie’s lungs!!  

During the first week of November, Charlie experienced a breakthrough in healing, even if not – by any means – a quick turnaround, as the antibiotic, supplemental oxygen and steroid were bringing measures of relief to his body. He, further, made contact with his old friend and physician of many years who prescribed a new med and suggested the addition of Pepcid since it had been found to be effective in killing the virus. The curious thing was that the oxygen’s effect was not constant. Even when titrated up or down – depending on the oxygen sat reading – it was sometimes too much and sometimes ineffective in bringing the low sats up. This business of low sats for so long brought me and others to a fearful juncture. Of course, the goal was to keep Charlie out of the hospital, but everyone, including me, was concerned because it seemed the only chance of getting the oxygen problem rectified was hospitalization. Even the doc who was Charlie’s good friend did not want to touch prescribing oxygen, saying that it was a tricky problem to asses from afar because it required in person evaluation and constant monitoring until the patient’s breathing, with healthy oxygen sats, was stabilized. As further discussions continued, I spoke to Charlie about potential hospitalization and his reply was to talk with me about his fundamental principles, just as he later shared on his blog: “Alas, since Obamacare, our hospitals have become the primary support system for the culture of death. Oh, they still do some good things, but that is not their primary purpose anymore. Their primary protocols are three now: 1) to enforce government narratives 2) to punish dissent from same and 3) above all, act as primary support system for the culture of death. Thus, no longer will I participate with them.” (ASOH 11-9-21 Weak but Willing) 

From the get go in Charlie’s care, I hit a rhythm of visiting in the mornings, afternoons and evenings, bringing food, administering remedies and/or supplements, setting up drinks, changing linens, etc. while taking on whatever else needed attention each day. Early on, I asked for my own key to save Charlie the belabored breathing torture associated with breathlessly hobbling to open the door and even more breathlessly hobbling back to, literally, drop into bed, huffing and puffing to regain some sort of equilibrium. Since I never knew what kind of sleep he had had during the previous night, rather than waking him, I just softly slid into a chair near his bedside and it was a perfect time to soak him in prayer until he awakened on his own. From this habit came the Stealth Ninja Nurse moniker. And, daily, when Charlie awakened, I would give him communion. Oh how sweet is the Goodness of the Lord!  

During the first week, Charlie was hardly able to be awake or communicate much at all. By the end of the second week, there was the delight of hanging out with him for some lovely chats with each of us sharing life stories and experiences. In the discussions centered on dreams of a New Beginning, I surely couldn’t hold back the quiet tears when Charlie spoke, with his own eyes misting, of a world renewed, a world where families would be firmly knit together as a foundational element of a culture of life with children protected and their innocence secure. It was also in this week when Charlie slowly began to eat a few things. This was a tenuous thing because his altered palate rendered food to taste much differently than usual. Testing various foods, we did hit the jackpot on some cuisine which featured heavily into his daily menu during the remainder of this part of his convalescence. 

You may recall Charlie’s writing which reflects his complete trust in the Lord, his genuine sentiments and mindset, and the truth that Charlie lives what he professes and counsels, even when the going gets massively tough: The thousands of prayers going up for me daily constitute a great treasury I gladly ask the Lord to direct as needed and as He will…  Now we know that a simple nod from God is sufficient to blow any disease completely away. He has chosen to let this one play its course through me – and draw forth a large bank of prayers through it… It is time for God to make all things new and to renew the faith of the world. The face of the world is ugly and mutilated, celebrating what is false and artificial, what offends God and defenestrates man, what brings bareness and cold rather than life and light…” He went on to reflect further, in a way one often does when fierce, nearly overwhelming suffering places a person in a state of vulnerability, thus, that one often thinks about and speaks about those things that deeply matter in life: “My feet have borne the burden all my life, even as no one else knew there was a burden to be borne. Our Lord has sometimes affectionately called me the little boy who is willing, for that is what I have been – when it has been against every temporal interest I have, I am willing. When I have been believed to be a delusional fool (including privately, by myself), I am willing. When it hurts so hard my feet bleed and I can’t catch any breath, I am willing. I may be a fool, but I am the archetype of the true believer: I love the Lord with all my heart, will, and soul – and I love His people and want us all to banquet joyfully together in heaven. The joy of this vision is worth a world of suffering…and I have willingly done much of that in the Lord’s service. Truthfully, I haven’t suffered much these last few decades. The meetings and visits are more like a foreshadowing of the joy of the fellowship of the family of God. So now I get an invitation to a little late-in-the game votive suffering. Don’t want to miss that honor, for whenever God wraps a package that gruesomely, He’s got a doozy of a present inside. 

So join me. Go forth and light a candle for me. What we are doing, I believe, is boldly proclaiming the Kingdom of Christ here on earth – that they may keep peddling their cheap kingdom of lives, but it has no power over us anymore and we are sent to proclaim it need have no power over anyone anymore. The Lord is sending us out to proclaim His great day: Good news for the poor, to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, release from darkness for the prisoners and the restoration of sight for all those who have been spiritually blinded, lo, these 30 years.”  (ASOH 11-3-21 Light a Candle for Me) 

At the beginning of the second week, Charlie had expressed: It is time for God to make all things new and to renew the faith of the world. The face of the world is ugly and mutilated, celebrating what is false and artificial, what offends God and defenestrates man, what brings bareness and cold rather than life and light…” (ASOH 11-3-21   Light a Candle for Me)

Then at the end of the week, the most amazing thing happened just before Charlie said that he thought the Lord was taking him “down to the foundation” and might build him anew.  That very morning before he spoke those words, when he awakened and we visited while I went about the tasks of tending to him, I was distracted by his countenance. It’s actually somewhat hard to describe. His face was glowing and completely smooth; it revealed a much younger man than we usually see. It was remarkable. His hair remained gray, but his face was somehow made fresh. Charlie fit the description of young David in the Book of Samuel, minus the ruddy skin, for Charlie’s face was most predominantly luminous with a unique light. Also on this morning, there was vigor in his ways of expressing himself. I have my own ideas about what was being shown, but it is an image I can never forget.  

By the time we were moving into the third week, Charlie was able to integrate the supplements with the homeopathy remedies and, still, the extreme fatigue lingered and the blood oxygen levels continued to be erratic. Charlie, himself reflected:  The thing is, God knows what is best. I don’t. So I bumble along the best I can, trusting that He will help me as I go. I don’t have much patience with ‘would have, could have, should have’ scenarios. What’s done is done and I mainly seek to know, in the moment, what I should do – and use my many failures as opportunities to grow in the moment as I continue my pilgrim way. Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.

When I was at my worst, laying in my sickbed, I told Beckita that if God decreed that I would be more useful to the work before us in purgatory or in heaven, He would take me. If He decreed that I would be more useful here, He would leave me. Whatever happened to me, the will of God would be advanced since I was a willing collaborator, trusting in whatever He decreed. I did tell her that I thought the Lord was taking me down to the foundation, that He might build me anew, but that was just my speculation. That trust did NOT mean that I forsook all temporal efforts at healing. I took many supplements and such. But it did mean that I would NOT violate any matters of fundamental principle – either that I had publicly articulated or privately vowed. I did fail once. In panic over one very painful symptom that lasted a few days, I ordered some supplements that I knew I should not have. (Perfectly licit supplements – but not for me…and I knew it.) Amusingly, when the expensive supplements arrived and I took them, it turned out that I was allergic to them. I laughed. Such a gentle and amusing way of God chastising me for briefly giving in to my panic. I regarded it as Him swatting me on the nose for not trusting to Him completely as I had vowed and then patting me on the head and telling me I was still a good dog who just had a bad moment. (ASOH 5-3-22 Good News Bad News)

In the third week, I told people in my chapel family, who would ask about Charlie and how they might help, that there was a need for meals if they would like to offer support in this way.  I was only thinking of Charlie, but our friends began cooking for three so that not only Charlie, but also Fr. Wang and I would benefit from their kindness. Most of the ones who assisted during this time were able to meet Charlie when he made a return visit to Missoula in August. Mightily grateful for those of you who helped in tangible ways, including Fr. Wang who not only anointed Charlie, but also offered Mass in his hotel room on two consecutive Sundays. Who gets that kind of treatment when falling into sickness while on the road?  Thank you so very much:  Fr. Wang, Dave & Julie, Elizabeth, Gail, Gwen, HTTP & Hubby, Karen, Leslyle, Pam, Peter, and Priscila. Please forgive me if I have forgotten anyone. 

In May, Charlie expressed so well:  God wins. I say that not in a superficial, chirpy way of whistling past the graveyard, but as the simple, immovable reality of human history. Whenever any of the lesser conflicts before this have happened in human history, the forces of darkness have exacted a terrible toll in human lives and misery before the assault is repulsed. I expect nothing to be significantly different about this most great and terrible confrontation between good and evil. The history of western civilization is the history of Christianity – one that progressively gave the greatest benefits to mankind. But it is a history of constant struggle. Times of peace and prosperity have been the times when we must struggle hardest against our own cupidity. I think God is not seeking to change our minds: rather, He is in the midst of changing our mindsets. That is part of this process of renewal He has initiated and is a pre-requisite to the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart.” 

And here we are, a year later, ALL of us bumbling along esprit de corps! May we continue to pray and work together, encouraging and building each other up in the development of mindsets… mindsets which have been featured all over the pages of Charlie’s blogs during the last eight years, mindsets which will anchor us in trusting God and keeping the faith even when it seems all is lost, mindsets which find us embracing an ALL IN attitude towards living God’s Will, mindsets that allow us to suffer well as we give God the freedom to s-t-r-e-t-c-h us in virtue, mindsets that compel us to contemplate and ask questions which launch us into dreaming of new possibilities, mindsets that welcome all people of good will into sharing the chopping of SO very much wood, mindsets that find us nevermore remaining silent or inactive when Gospel values are threatened and denied, mindsets which reflect that we know who we are as children of the Living God and we know who HE IS as we rise each day, ready to serve and partner with Him in the re-birthing/re-building of a culture of life, a true civilization of love, bringing His Kingdom more fully to each locale wherever we may live.   

Now, as we carry on in this Storm of storms, I close this account and reflection, confident that I speak for the folks in our communities, Charlie: Thank you for caring for us with the heart of a shepherd, for teaching us, encouraging us, fortifying and challenging us. True to Sherpa form, you are incredibly focused, precise, resilient and tough while you foster the traits of a hero in others. And we love you, man!

CORAC Joy in the Teamwork



  1. Oh Beckita that was just beautiful!!! I thank God that He didn’t call Charlie home yet!!! This good earth, this side of the veil, just wouldn’t be the same without him!!! 🥰🙏😇 🐿️ 🐶

    It is because of Charlie’s message that I am able to navigate 🧭 these stormy 🌊 days in a sort of frenzied peace! Ha! I know that sounds like a dichotomy but it’s the truth!

    In all ways we acknowledge God, take the next right step and try as hard as we all can to be a sign of hope!

    Thank you Charlie and thank you too Beckita!!!


    Liked by 7 people

    1. God is so Good Always🙏🏻🙌🏻🙏🏻
      Praise his Holy name,
      Amen & Amen
      Y’all played a huge part in taking such Good care of him.
      God Bless you both ,

      Liked by 4 people

    2. That was a breathtaking sharing from you, Beckita. It was mesmerizing as I read …and emotionally moving in a very deep way. Charlie (and you) are showing us exactly what God wants from us.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amen, Kati. You totally get the purpose of the writing and, as we have been journeying together here, I’m confident that most – if not all – of us are ALL IN with the mindsets which will carry us through the worst of the worst yet to come. 🙏🕊⚜️

        Liked by 1 person

  2. THank you Beckita for this accounting of what you all went through, Charlie being so sick, and everyone else who gave their all to see him through it. It strengthens trust in God and so much more. I feel blessed just to be a part of this community. Denise

    Liked by 8 people

  3. Woo-wee, but this is humbling, moving and inspiring!

    TY God for healing Charlie, for his continued leadership and care for us all. No one left behind, or rather: “God wants them all and I do too!” Or something very similiar. I remember Charlie saying that clearly.

    Yes, TY for this account and for all you do! You & Fr. Wang also are an essential part this mission, and mentors to us here. +TYG for these Dear ones+

    Liked by 6 people

  4. Hey Beckita, wow! I had no clue of all the things you all were going through – but then there were a lot of things I had no clue about in that fog. In some ways this is kind of embarrassing, making me out to be heroic in ways that I don’t feel. But back in the day when clients would start feeling embarrassed over how enthusiastic people were, I would harshly tell them to cut that out: instead of feeling small do their dead level best to live up to the confidence people were imputing to them – while remembering that the confidence came from them being the voice of people that much of the world would prefer to be voiceless – and to never forget or betray that. So I give myself that counsel a lot these days.

    Thank you all for all you did while I was in that fog. Beckita was my constant companion…coming three times a day to care for and look in on me. And thanks to Fr. Wang for celebrating Mass in my hotel room twice!

    It was a very tough time. I am profoundly grateful to be joyfully on the road again.

    Liked by 11 people

    1. Well said, Charlie. It IS a balancing act when we stake our lives on God and surrender ourselves to Him, develop a prayer life that includes cultivating a sense of His ongoing presence in all we are and do, believe in the identity of who we really are in Him and what He wants to accomplish through, with and in us and, at the same time, strive to live humility… real, salt of the earth humility rooted in reality and truth. Then our being and acts are about God shining through us. HE’s the One honoring our fiat by capturing the hearts of His people through us.

      Many of the things I have seen and experienced in you, I’ve seen in each of the ones who are ALL IN for the Lord, albeit, there is an abundance of variations on a theme as the wondrous and TRUE meaning of God’s love of diversity is evident in the many, varied ways God has created His people, endowed them with HIS gifts and talents, along with the particular call He has extended to each individual.

      Most challenging for me in your first week in Missoula was juggling the phone calls, texts, emails, etc. and the assimilation of all the information, new knowledge, details, observations, opinions, insights, etc. coming in while I was responsible for synthesizing it and carefully observing and discerning on the ground – you in your sick bed – that which was most critical to not miss. Hey! That sounds like your life right now, Charlie… with no sign of letting up for a while!!

      Ha! One thing concerning this piece about which I’ve been laughing since last evening is that I didn’t want you to have to proofread for me, Charlie, but I did notice that I had a typo and I had published this with the word, “asses,” instead of, “assess.” Maybe that’s a Freudian slip, for while each of us allows God to shine through us, we can remember that each one has been responsible for asinine moments… and we know the drill: own it – not in shame, but in truth- and, then, get right back up and carry on by acknowledging God, taking our NRSs and allowing Him to make of us a sign of hope. (BTW, it’s been so long since I’ve written a piece here, I had some difficulty with the WordPress changes and cannot edit “asses” to “assess. ” Well then, so it is and so it shall remain for all to see as a reminder that ONLY God is perfect. 🙂 )

      Liked by 4 people

  5. What a beautiful account, Beckita! God bless you and Fr. Wang and ALL who helped pull Charlie through–and that definitely includes the prayer warriors!! God is so, so good!

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Thank-you, Beckita, for this summary of all who were “boots on the ground” with you and assisting in Charlie’s care while the rest of us stormed heaven with our prayers.
    Thank-you Charlie for your continued example of fearless faithfulness. We are honored to join you in taking the next right step, whatever it looks like.
    Thank-you to everyone here, all you who keep struggling to be sign of hope.
    Always ongoing prayers for us all.
    Katey in OR✝️🙏🏽💕

    Liked by 4 people


    Vatican “Diversity Guidelines”?

    Yeah! ….. Right!! DOJ is On-Watch to Guard against ALL That Evil Red State, White Supremacist GOP Voter Fraud and Election Manipulation and Poll Intimidation!!
    … Ya Know!? … all those Shenanigans that ALWAYS happen in Blue States/Urban Areas and never seem to be investigated by Media or Dept. of Just-Us or Blue State/City “Investigators!?
    Oh!! Ya got a DOJ Civil Rights Beef? … White, Asian &/or Christian/Conservatives… Need Not Apply! ;-(

    Democrat/Global Left Mouth Organ AP is setting-up excuses for The Steal 2.0/22!


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  8. I was talking to my cousin about a friend who is despairing about his music career not going as planned.
    I was saying that his charism of music was not supposed to make him a slave to it but was only a part of who he is overall. Since it is through God that ” all good things come” it should remind us that one’s talent can become a vice instead of a virtue if we forget this reality. But instead of sharing a good thing with his fellow man he demands satisfaction for himself because he is “talented” as if that alone is a good enough reason to become successful .
    I’ve always read and tell those I love that the enemy uses what is most important to us against us. He then drives us mercilessly but cannot give us true happiness or derive to the “goodness” we actually are longing for (and need) in our lives.
    The saints shunned the crowds that would clamor over them. They knew it was God that worked the miracles and wonders and the people just got too exuberant over His wonders. Even Jesus left when the people wanted to make Him King in their hysterical enthusiasm! In both instances Jesus and those saints knew the peoples excitement was ill placed for the goal was not fame nor Kingship (as man knows kingship) but a true encounter with the Lord.
    Please pray our friend soon experiences this true understanding.

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  9. Dear Bakita,

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you did and continue to do to help Charlie in his mission and to restore him to good health during his very serious bout with Covid. As you sought to keep your priorities straight amidst all the twists and turns encountered during Charlie’s illness, you managed to ponder all these things in your heart and recount that God is always close to us. He rewards our faith in answer to our trustful prayers. Tears came to me accompanied by inspiration to prayer for all those who’ve suffered loss from this insidious virus. Your beautiful writing gave me hope and the courage to remain “All in” the ongoing quest to give our FIAT to whatever God wills. May He abundantly reward you for all you have given in His service!

    Shalom, Bren

    Sent from my iPad


    Liked by 6 people

    1. I’m grateful you are commenting, Bren, and that we, in this community, are there for one another. Thanks, too, for the ways you’ve perceived that this story is about Charlie and the ways he lives what he counsels as well as about the people who live that on which we’ve been focusing as we make our way through this Storm.

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  10. Beautiful recap, Beckita. I think the whole city of Missoula is blessed. When Patrick also had Covid, which was also far advanced by the time it felled him, he stayed in the same Covid Suite at the hotel where Charlie fought his fight. He had already received bad or indifferent treatment in other places from people who were scared of contagion… but not Missoula! The common theme in both stories is you and Fr. Wang. I think you bless that whole city!

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    1. Oh my goodness, Sheryl!! And dear Patrick went into a ditch with his monster truck while driving into Missoula in the midst of a blizzard. Mercy! What a man of fortitude is he as two tow trucks were required to pull him, sick as sick could be, out of that ditch.

      I’m grateful that both Fr. Wang and I had had Covid the year before. I wasn’t a bit fearful, especially knowing that we were armed with antibodies. As ever, God’s timing and blessings were beautiful for the arrival of Charlie and Patrick into our city. How blessed was Patrick to have you, his dear friend, advocating for him and making the necessary connections.

      Liked by 5 people

      1. Dear sweet Beckita . . . God certainly blessed me to have Sheryl in my corner (as the “cut doctor”).

        I was double blessed with you and Fr. Wang as I could not have possibly summoned the strength to get my prescription filled, go shopping for the few necessities I needed (not to mention that in the mental state I was in . . . I did not even know what I needed to help me survive), and because of the much-needed spiritual strengthening and emotional support provided by both of you.

        Sheryl was tireless in her effort to find a doctor (on a wknd) who did the telemed with me. He called me while I was waiting in the ditch for the heroes in the recovery trucks to arrive and pull me out. The doctor, in Dallas, is a hero also because we know how few there were holding the line for us.

        God bless you all


  11. JESUS = GOOD NEWS …. Happy St Jude Day 😉

    We sure need for St Jude & the entire Church Triumphant to get US out of the Big Mess we find ourselves in These-Days!!

    PF going to Russia would be a Big Sign!

    Think it won’t happen here! .. What happens when de Free Lunch Cards and Gubermint Checks start “Bouncing” and/or millions of Illegal Aliens Go-Hungry?
    ….. Who’s gonna feed the 100 Million Working Age – Not Working?
    ….. &!!?

    Sydney Powell worth a watch:


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  12. Thank you for behind the scenes and recap of Charlie’s brush with death. So grateful that all is well now. God is good all the time.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Amen, San San. He IS. And an overarching theme in this account is that Charlie, and those involved, remained steady in the Lord via acting from the mindsets which have been presented and discussed here. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    ….. and Fringe Left “Politico” hates it!

    UN/WEF/Global Re-Set Left/MSM/Democrat Party…. Same BS-Same Madness!


    Liked by 2 people

  14. Beckita, while reading this article, I could not help notice the reflection of a year of ago when the trials of Charlie’s body were occurring , that it seems to me as a test drive of God showing us the trials we are in , on ALL levels.  Charlie’s was , he reflected ready to pass over..OR…be torn down to the foundation, JUST we are experiencing in the Church, and society.  Once again God used Charlie to show us the pain we need to endure , will produce the outcome HE desires.  The only unknown is how God’s time will actually be.  God’s three to four weeks of Charlie’s recovery may be 5 to 30 years in our time.  God has shared with us the outcome , through Charlie,  just not the timeline.Thank you Charlie for once again being clay for us in God’s Hands!

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Beautiful reflection, Leel. God actually allowed that Charlie’s recovery would last a much longer time than his 23 days in my care. Charlie’s dear friends, Mary & Mark Lapchak, drove to Missoula and brought Charlie to their home near Denver to complete his convalescence.

      Liked by 3 people

  15. JESUS = GOOD NEWS … 😉

    …. Ya Can’t “Build Back” until what Ya had is destroyed…. That’s what THEY be doing!
    … Think THEY are not destroying what Ya got Over-Here!?

    YUP! The lies are Staggering but 40% of BoobLand USA “Believe” or Don’t care!
    ….. and just wait for the delicious Democrat Bug Recipes next year ;-(
    …… Not to Worry! Bugs are more nutritious & think Climate Change “Positives”!
    … .Hey!! … Think of your “Skinny Clothes” that will fit by Winter’s end!

    Naughty Words Guy essentially correct ….. lots of time for Evil before Year’s End!


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  16. PS:

    Pastor Dana worth a watch:

    My local WallyWorld just finished a 2nd Remodel in past 2 years?
    It was their smallest size Super Center to begin with and the latest remodel has LESS shelf space!? Whey would a business re-design for less product to sell!??

    I don’t know? … but I’m guessing that THEY know that LONG TERM Reduced Supplies are Our Future not to mention the reduced Long Term ability of Customers to pay for stuff!

    I’ve also noticed a LOT less Store Brands Stuff? …. noticed Baby Food Shortage is STILL here! I know this for a fact ’cause I’ve been trying to find a particular new born brand for friends …. none to be found for almost two months!

    Walmart is Part-n-Parcel of the NWO Global Re-Set Gang and THEY appear to be following The Agenda!


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  17. Wow, Beckita! We saw Charlie at Vanessa’s home in Riverside, CA, and he mentioned he was very sick but had no conception of how sick, until reading this. May God continue to bless you both, and what a wonderful caregiver you are! In thanksgiving, Elizabeth & Jim Meehan

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    1. Thanks, Elizabeth and Jim, for your kindness. It was an amazing, never-to-be-forgotten time. I’m confident that you had a wonderful visit with Charlie when he was in your area!! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  18. some memorable points of the article:
    …”an advanced stage of Covid could well be damaging Charlie’s body, … aye yi yi yi yi. ”

    And my favorite:
    …”I continued to give the thoughts which evoked fear into the hands of Our Lady and, instead, dwelled on what could be, and needed to be, done in each moment. “Do the little you can do right in front of you.” (A Charlie quote, …”

    Then, there was the “Ordeal of the Oxygen Concentrator ”
    …” I hauled that heavy machine out of the motel, just as surely as I had lugged it into the room with some puffing and sighs, and heard Charlie ask: “Beckita are you having a bad day?”
    …Once home, while I was busy with other things, Fr. Wang applied his magic touch and voila! The machine was working again. Pressing on, back to the motel went the concentrator “…
    What was it that St Theresa asked God about the way He treated His friends, after her carriage fell into the mud.
    ” Jesus, I trust in You”

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  19. JESUS = GOOD NEWS … 😉

    THEY hate US and THEY will be looking for scapegoats to blame for THEIR Misdeeds!

    Yep! My Ol’ Body gets me up around 3AM ;-( …. but it is a good time to say a few prayers for Planet Earth and the other Wee Hours People 😉 s

    Skyrocket Worldwide! …… & Our USA Drought affecting Our Food Production, River Traffic Stuck, Diesel (Jet) Fuel evaporating, Shaky Electric Grid, RR Strike, Crime and Our USA (Church?) being run by those who Call Evil Good and Whistle Past the Graveyard …. Can anyone here convince me that we are NOT facing, at least, an End Times Dress Rehearsal of The “Perfect” Storm!?
    ……. but The Usual Suspects still pushing The Re-Set AGENDA!


    Liked by 2 people

    1. Crew Dog: wokeness has much to do with low military recruitment numbers but I wonder too if the hollowing out of recruitment age men & women from Chinese and drug cartel supplied fentanyl has a lot to do with it.

      Liked by 2 people

  20. Beckita, your wonderful and touching account here exemplifies the Prayer of Doing. Thank you for writing it down.

    Here’s a poignant example of the Prayer of Doing which took place just recently in our nearby wilderness. The story is both tragic and heartening. The video is slightly longer than the 30 minutes allowed on ASOH ~ feel free to delete the link if you see fit.

    If you do delete the link, the video can be found by searching:

    YouTube HeavyDSparks Rest in Peace Fellow Aviator ❤ We'll Have You Home Tonight

    God bless and keep all involved ~
    Sister Bear

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sister Bear, I can’t pass up anything about aviation, coming from a family of aviators. I had tears in my eyes watching this, beautiful sacrifices they made to take care of their friend. God bless you and all of us here!

      Liked by 2 people

  21. JESUS = GOOD NEWS … 😉

    Prayers Needed!!!!

    YUP! ….. VOTE!!!

    The Usual Suspects are bellowing The Perp is a MAGA QAnon Trumper but it looks, increasingly, like it’s a Drunken Old Fool in a fight with his Illegal Alien Homeless-Pervert-Nudist .. Love Interest? ….. SanFran c. 2022 ;-( …. Story will be Memory Holed quickly!


    Liked by 2 people

  22. JESUS = GOOD NEWS …Happy All Saints Day 😉

    Over de Top or Essentially Correct ………… You discern!


    Apparently FringeLeft Ex-Twitter Censors are migrating to FaceBook & Youtube.


    Boston U. Lab develops Killer Covid last month …. what could go wrong!?


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  23. The nine weeks before Christmas Novena cont.
    II. Excess of Love Constrained Love October 21 – 27

    Then, my mind brought itself into the maternal womb, and remained stupefied in considering a God so great in Heaven, now so annihilated, restricted, constrained, as to be unable to move, and almost even to breathe.

    The interior voice told me: “Do you see how much I have loved you? O please, make Me a little space in your heart; remove everything which is not Mine, so you will give Me more freedom to move and to breathe.”

    My heart was consumed; I asked for His forgiveness, I promised to be completely His own, I poured myself out in crying; but – I say this to my confusion – I would go back to my usual defects. Oh Jesus, how good You are with this miserable creature!

    III. Excess of Love Devouring Love October 28 – Nov 3

    As I moved on from the second to the third meditation, an interior voice told me: “My daughter, place your head upon the womb of my Mama, and look deep into it at my little Humanity. My love devoured Me; the fires, the oceans, the immense seas of love of my Divinity inundated Me, burned Me to ashes, and sent their flames so high as to rise and reach everywhere – all generations, from the first to the last man. My little Humanity was devoured in the midst of such flames; but do you know what my eternal love wants Me to devour? Ah! Souls! And only then was I content, when I devoured them all, to remain conceived with Me. I was God, and I was to operate as God – I had to take them all. My love would have given Me no peace, had I excluded any of them. Ah! My daughter, look well into the womb of my Mama; fix well your eyes on my conceived Humanity, and you will find your soul conceived with Me, and the flames of my love that devour you. Oh! How much I loved you, and I do love you!”
    I felt dissolved in the midst of so much love, nor was I able to go out of it; but a voice called me loudly, saying: “My daughter, this is nothing yet; cling more tightly to Me, and give your hands to my dear Mama, that She may hold you to her maternal womb. And you, take another look at my little conceived Humanity, and watch the fourth excess of my love.”


  24. JESUS = GOOD NEWS …Happy All Souls Day 😉

    YEP! ;-( …… nothing short of American Revolution II + Divine Intervention will Drain de DC Swamp! ….. but a Big DemonRat Defeat next week would be a Morale Boost 😉

    WE are being watched by any number of godless Big Bro Gubermint Agencies, BigTech Social, Banks, Schools and …. throw in Killer Drones/Robots and BioWeapons and the Apocalyptic Visions of St John are making sense NOW!!

    Democrat False Flags be coming!!



  25. Wow, Beckita and Charlie, had no idea it was so dicey. Yet both of you displayed consistent faith in word and action despite the roller coaster of challenging days. And that almost mystical, (other side of the veil), type vision of CJ’s countenance was perhaps a spiritual bonus from the Lord for all your patient caregiving and an examplar of the corporal works of mercy.


    1. Could well have been a type of kiss from heaven as your write, Maggie, and from another dimension, perhaps, it was also a harbinger of what’s to come for all who remain with the Lord trough these days of purification. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  26. “Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen.” (St.Gertrude prayer)

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